I will find you my love!

All I really want in life is to do what I love every single day. How hard can that be? Well as of right now, it is extremely difficult. When does one know that they have found the thing that they love most in life and then pursue it? I enjoy doing many different things but I just don't feel like I have yet found that one thing. Sometimes I think maybe I don't have just one thing that I am suppose to do but I want just one thing that could be all mine. For example one of my friends is a fashion blogger. She has always had a love for fashion and it's now how she makes a living for herself and loves every minute of it. Another friend of mine is an interior designer and she absolutely loves what she does. I have friends who does hair and its her jam. I could go on and on about different people in my life who live the dreams. WHY, can't it be that easy for me? Having these kind of thoughts can drive one crazy. Even if I take a break from thinking about these things I still need to find the answer. Well I guess a good place to start is looking at what my talents are. Which is and will always be the hardest thing for me to admit to, meaning admitting to my talents is really hard for me to do only because I have a fear of people thinking that I am self centered. Back when I was in young woman's and the talents lesson came up I just hated every minute of it. The leader would always have all the girls write down the talents that they saw in each other and then we would tell them. When it was my turn for the girls to tell me what they saw mine to be, it was always the generic ones like: she's so kind and pretty and creative... Can you get anymore vague please?!?! I thought that people where always fake when they talk about me and part of me still does. I really don't know what to say about that because it's something that I still struggle with. Also I never know if what I am saying or trying to say makes any since but I am doing the best I can to get all these feelings out because as I write them down I become face-to-face with them and then I am able to work through them. I think that this is going to be an on going post. I don't have a silver lining for these questions I am face-to-face with but I hope and pray that I will. I guess I need to start by physically writing down my talents, gifts, things that make me smile, and things that I just love. Okay, YAY! I like that idea. I am going to work on that this week and let's pray that I can find my love this week. 

This weeks quote is pure gold for how I am feeling right now...