When You Question Everything

Two steps forward, five steps back... It's so hard to stay focused when the failures are grater then the victories. I feel like these past few weeks I have been making some great improvements in my life. I have felt lighter and happier but one moment took that all away from me. I choice that I made took all that joy away that I worked so hard for build. I made a choice and I was the one who took it away. There was no one else involved but me but yet I started to blame others around me for taking away my joy. I became so upset with everything in my life that I wanted to leave it all and go back home to Arizona. Guys, I left Arizona for the same reasons that I want to leave Utah. You can't run away from your life. It has a way of finding you. My computer crashed Friday night as I was trying to get my homework done and it wasn't fixed until Monday morning. Without even thinking about it I decided to take this time away from my computer to just sit in silence and really think things through. I started questioning all my choices and kept asking myself "why" I was making the choices that I was and doing the things that I was doing. I torn myself down. I got to the base of my core but yet I still feel just as lost. How can that be? How can I even find the answer to that kind of question? I often feel like I'm stuck on a  hamster wheel, forever to find myself going around and around through the same cycle. All I know is that you have to find the light in the dark. One thing that I had stopped doing when everything started going down hill was that I stopped expressing my gratitude for the little things in my life. I don't think it is a fix all but I do believe that it does play a large part in my happiness. I'm just trying to get to the next week but its helping me so far and look tomorrow is Friday. I have made it a whole week! Success is in the little things. Y'all keep trying don't give up.

This weeks quote is one that seems to come to my mind when I question whether it is all worth it.
I hope you find hope in it like I do.